Here’s what I’ve discovered about liking men who aren’t my age. When I found someone younger, I somehow got an emotionally unavailable, exploring every vagina in the state, douche. And when I found someone older, he ended up being the hot dad of said douche, who also happens to be my own father’s sworn enemy. 

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Now, when I say enemy, I’m not talking battlefield-ready, we-ride-at-dawn type enemy; just a coworker who happens to also be a rival—a competitor, if you will. They’ve worked together for the last ten years, and in the four since I’ve joined the same company, I’ve spent every waking minute pretending that I didn’t have cartoonish hearts pulsing in my eyes for him.

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See, my first day on the job is one I can remember as if it was the start of what’s supposed to be an Emmy award winning movie, but ends up being a complete flop. And to fully comprehend it all, I have to go back to the opening scene. The day it all began. Maybe then, I can be met with more understanding and fewer knives in my back. 

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At least, one can hope.